I was looking for books to put on my library hold list and NPR had recently done a review of Gwyneth Paltrow's new cookbook, so I added it. I hadn't decided if I hated her or liked her. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't love.
She's been around forever, but I can't really think of many movies with her in it. The one where Michael Douglas is her husband and tries to have her killed because she's having an affair is always on TNT, so I've probably seen that more than twice. It's mildly entertaining on a dreary day when you're stuck inside. I'm always chuckle when she speaks Spanish (she did live in Spain with a Spanish family, didn't you know?) because she uses the Castilian lisp that most visiting Americans don't attempt. But of course GP would. She also has the British thing going on, so maybe she's just really adaptable.
Having seen lots of interviews and read articles about her, I feel like I know enough to make the following statements . I used to think she was arrogant, but now I just think she's totally out of touch with the real world. Her website is ridiculous, suggesting places to travel and hotels to stay at and restaurants to eat at and recipes to try. If you are a zillionaire, take her advice. My favorite is when she talks about the 10 clothing items to have for the season, each of which cost $500 (or more). These are must-haves for working moms, making it SO simple to get ready quickly in the morning before dashing around with your kids! She also loves to exclaim that she has to work really, really hard for her body. She doesn't get to eat whatever she wants, and she looooooves to eat, you know. And who can't identify with that? But then she goes on to talk about how she works out two hours a day with her personal trainer. And that's when I start getting annoyed, because who does she think we are? Chris Martin's wife? Who has that time and money, besides her and Madonna?
But her cookbook piqued my interest because it's based on food she cooked with her dad, who she writes was the love of her life until his death in 2002. And that loss is one I can identify with. As I read the book's forward, I softened towards her as she talked about her father's cancer. I imagined having a good cry together over a glass of Rioja while we kneaded whole wheat dough. But then she started talking about her best friends the McCartneys and Spielbergs, and how she spent her summers in Nantucket, and vacationed in Hawaii, and had cooking lessons from her friend Jamie Oliver, and how her backyard wood-burning oven was one of the best investments she's ever made. Seriously.
Conclusion: I won't be trying any of GP's recipes. I don't have any spelt flour, or barley flour, or buckwheat flour, or grade B Vermont maple syrup (unless store brand Mrs. Butterworth's, with extra hydrogenated corn syrup would work as a substitute?). And I'm certainly not going to the store (what store?!) to buy tempeh bacon or hemp milk.
PS - I'm kind of disappointed in myself for having written multiple paragraphs about Gwyneth Paltrow. Shows you what a new stay-at-home mom thinks about all day. Consider it to be a book review. I just saved you some time.
