So much to do. So. much. time.

I'm officially a stay-at-home mom. Which is what I've wanted for the past few years. So, now that I got my wish, what do I do?

Yes, I know it's only been three weeks and that my house is still in shambles from the move so we don't really feel settled (at least I don't), but still, I feel like I need to be doing something! I mean, I know I'm doing important work here, raising two boys, teaching them manners and empathy, and colors and the alphabet, and the lyrics to Avril Lavine songs, and why it's not nice to stick your finger up someone else's nostril. There's also a ton to be done to the house but it's not stuff that can be done in a day or by myself, for the most part. And although my husband clearly feels that I should be picking up after T and G constantly, I'm more of a why-clean-it-up-now-when-they'll-just-mess-it-all-up-again-in-two-minutes kinda gal. But it's a weird feeling not to have a life outside of the house, not to have responsibilities other than handing out sippy cups and making sure G doesn't make it over the booby trap of boxes and upside-down chairs I've constructed in front of the stairs (which he usually does. How?!) Don't get me wrong, hanging with the boys is seriously great, but I feel...antsy. And feeling antsy just makes me feel guilty that I'm not enjoying the time with T and G, which is why I quit my job and moved to KC in the first place.

DOES THE GUILT EVER STOP?!?!

Confession: I applied to two jobs last night. A was out at an event so, as usual, I trolled the internet because we still don't have a TV. (Don't get me started. I am so behind on pop culture, you wouldn't even recognize me. When I'm in line at Price Chopper reading the headlines of US Weekly, I might as well be reading Chinese.) I happened upon two job postings that I thought looked kinda fun and I figured they'd get me out of the house and into contact with someone other than the checkout girl at Price Chopper who recognizes me now. And, a second income would mean I could buy all the US Weeklys I wanted without having to hear about "the garbage I spend my money on". So, in a moment of pure boredom (I wish I could say it was drunken, but we can barely afford enough alcohol to induce a proper buzz. But that's another posting) I applied. I think if I got a call for an interview, though, I'd freak out and say "sorry, no longer interested" because that's not what I want. Right?