We're back! We survived Holiday Travel, which was actually not as bad as I expected. We totally, completely, weirdly-suspiciously-unlike us-always, lucked out by getting onto a direct flight from MO to VA, rather than the delayed stop-over in Chicago we had been booked on. The boys behaved themselves, for the most part, and no one punched me in the face due to their occasional whining. (A special holiday shout out to the family of two young girls seated one row behind us who beat us in the highest decibel contest. In their defense, the cabin pressure was unbearable for a few seconds there, even for me. Those poor, poor little girls.)
Our flight back was not as wonderful, having to stop in Chicago, which never makes any sense to me. Our layover was longer than either leg of the flight, and it's a given that meltdowns will occur if actual travel time is interrupted. So, all we could do was walk back and forth on the flat escalators and consume 4,000 goldfish (3,764 of which were ground into the rug in our terminal. Luckily, we had our own personal janitor who followed us around with a manual vacuum, making sure crumbs didn't pile up too high. She was also a helpful distractor because the boys loved watching her and I'm pretty sure they were dropping a Hansel and Gretel-like trail of crackers so she would follow us. T decided he wanted to be her when he grows up so he can use that "special thing", which I told him he is welcome to use at home any time. Also, T wants to be a shuttle driver at Dulles. I reminded him that as long as he can support Mommy in her twilight years, he can be whatever he wants).
Overall, our trip was fairly uneventful with only one minor embarrassing incident. Though I am fully aware that airport food is not cheap, I ordered a panini and orange juice to find out it was going to cost me $15 - literally all the money in my wallet, including change. After a totally polite exclamation of surprise - I said $13 for a sandwich?! the guy looks at me and says, really? is that too much? all sarcastically, implying I am a loser if I don't pay it. So, I asked him to void the sale. He tried to tell me he couldn't and that I'd have to pay. I guess the cogs were already turning deep inside the specialty sandwich factory, which to my amateur eyes just looked like the little old lady behind him had fired up the big toaster. I was like, Seriously? You can't just take 4 steps to tap her on the shoulder and say, hey Gladys, never mind on that panini? Maybe yell out, HEY, FORGET THAT PANINI? Or how about whistle to get her attention and draw your finger across your throat? As I'm trying to help him realize that he indeed can void the numbers he just punched into the cash register, T is realizing that we might walk away from the food counter with nothing, so he begins to clutch the orange juice bottle, crazed and wide eyed yelling "No Mommy, I NEED this! I WANT this juice. THIS IS MINE." You'd never know he'd opened hundreds of dollars of gifts in the past week. So, cue my sweat mustache, I shove cash back into my wallet, rip the OJ from T's sweaty paws, and march/run away. Could have been worse.
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