Beware! If you are traveling by plane for the holidays and you are one of the few who won't have children in tow, consider this fair warning. Because there will be many of us - MANY of us - sitting behind you on the plane, kicking your seat. In fact, most of the moms in my playgroup today said they will be flying somewhere this week, so I'm guessing that every plane will be filled to the brim with wee ones, screaming, crying, flailing, and whining. Part of me feels bad for those of you who hate traveling near children. The other part of me laughs at you.
Look, I used to be one of you. I once preferred to sit next to someone with clean underpants (actually still my first choice). I'd have rather not be jostled by anything else than turbulence. However, being heartily equipped with empathy, I usually felt bad for the poor parents with the kid throwing themselves on the floor in a tantrum and always felt awful for the little infant who cried at take off because her little ears hurt. I never understood how an old grandma could huff and puff and roll her eyes as if the crying was impossibly interrupting her SkyMall reading. Or why the guy in front of me thought it was a good idea to tell the guy behind me that he better shut his kids up...or else. That resulted in fisticuffs over my head, which scarred me for a long time. I swore I'd never fly with kids for fear of bodily harm.
Let me also add that those of us flying with kids do not want to be flying with kids. Air travel with children is one of the most stressful things I have ever done. I once flew alone with both boys, 9 months and 3 yrs, from VA to CA with a layover in TX. You do not. know. stress. until you have made this trip. I was drenched in sweat for 12 hours straight as I tried to not lose my children. THAT was my goal. Not to make sure others had a pleasant trip, but to make sure I arrived from point A to point B with the same number of bodies - alive- that I left with.
Oh, you curmudgeons might say "Well, why don't you stay home?" or "Learn to control your kids in public!" But I don't care. I want to be with my family for Christmas and my money is as good as yours. And trust me, I do try to control my kids in most instances, but at 30,000 miles above sea level all control is out the window (hopefully not literally -har har) I cannot make my 16 month old sit completely still. I can only try so many times to get my 4 year olds finger out of his nose and to stop screaming about wanting more M&Ms, but I have to pick my battles. And to me, boogers are not worth it.
So don't turn around and give me a rude look every time my kid makes a sound or jumps around due to his sugar high. That's the nature of air travel. I suggest you bring your earphones and jack your Ipod up as high as it can go, have cash on hand to purchase mini bottles of alcohol, and remember that your flight will be over in just a couple hours (unless we sit on the runway for hours). That's my plan too.
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