Dear Santa/Hanukkah Harry,
Please bring me a new wardrobe. Besides not having the money to go purchase the few things I need just to update my look for 2012 (or even to catch up in 2011), I just don't have the energy.
I'm so disappointed in myself - the girl (lady?! ugh) who used to browse every fashion magazine on the block and could put an outfit together like nobody's business, if I do say so myself. Though I swore it wouldn't happen, motherhood has made me leave the house unwashed, unshowered, unmatching, unwearing something not made of sweatsuit material, and most scary, uncaring - most of the time. But today, as I ventured out to get some Sudafed to alleviate the symptoms from the 43rd cold T has brought home from preschool (why does my husband never catch anything?!), I saw two moms pushing strollers with teeny, tiny babies in them (= they've gotta be up more hours of the night than me, right? Or was that just my kid who never slept for the first nine months of his life?) and they looked GREAT. Sassy shoes, hair artfully tousled, makeup tastefully applied, and they looked fabulous. I was embarrassed to get out of the car because I was wearing the same shirt I'd worn the night before and then slept in and kept on all day. Kind of gross, I know, but so comfortable! I waited until they passed for fear they'd look at me and think "Oh, I am so glad I took a shower today and that I don't have horrible crows feet like that sad, dumpy lady. Or maybe she just has newborn quadruplets at home".
So, I made a decision. As soon as I got home I put on makeup and a cute ("cute") outfit, just to go to my mother-in-laws for Sunday dinner. I felt like an imposter, especially when I put on lipstick, which I haven't put on since my wedding in 2006. I added some dangly earrings and totally felt like some hipster poser, but I tried to fake it. Really, I did. My husband said nothing after his initial double-take at my outfit change. G couldn't stop staring at my sparkly pink lips. And trying to rip my earrings out. And T just took the tube of gloss and applied it to his moustache area, looking very pretty himself. When I walked into my MIL's she complimented me appropriately, probably thinking it was weird that I was out of sweats for the first time since we moved to KC in August.
Maybe I just need to do it more often? To try a little harder a couple times a week so it feels more natural? Maybe I can manage to upgrade the sweats to leggings a few times a week. Because I can't continue down this road. I'm only 34, and the wrinkles are only going to get worse. I KNOW I've still got it in me...right? Why didn't I appreciate my wardrobe and smooth skin 10 years ago? Why didn't I open a separate savings account when I was in my 20's to be put only towards Botox, Spanx, and skinny jeans in the years to come? Let this be a lesson to those of you who still have the chance to prepare yourselves.
You know, I take the wardrobe request back, Santa/HH. I want Botox. And a personal trainer and personal shopper. And the energy to drive myself to wherever you go to get Botox.
2 comments:
I don't even have kids and I feel like I'm in the same boat! Which I guess makes me even worse that you, so you can feel good about that maybe ;-)
You should have been there for the reaction from my boyfriend when I put a shirt on without holes in it. You'd think I'd just got prepped for a night at the Oscars or something.
So yeah, I think one of my goals is to dress better and just generally take better care of my appearance too...especially since I don't have kids I can blame it on.
God...I really need some kids I can blame stuff on!
Amen, sister! Just don't put on anything too fancy when you come visit this week. I'll be in my sweatpants, and I don't need you making me feel worse about myself with all your fancy leggins and lipstick.
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